A $2,200 putty knife floated out of an astronaut's tool belt and into space while he was repairing the space shuttle Discovery.
Where do I begin...?
WHY THE #*%@ DOES A SPATULA COST $2,200?!? Is there something particularly "space worthy" about these spatulas? Perhaps it was a multi-function spatula that also performed basic cold fusion? If not, and we assume a spatula works the same in space as it does in my apartment, I'd like to point out to all the government big wigs who approve the funding for this stuff that $2,200 gets you 326 Ace Hardware "premium putty knives".
It's amazing how useless the space program is.
Get this: the astronaut had five more on him worth a grand total of $13,200 (or 1,631 telestial spatulas).
Currently, the spatula is orbiting the earth every 90 minutes and is being tracked by no less than 20 military radars (another great use of tax dollars).
To sum up:
1. We're launching men into space to do what? I'm not certain.
2. We're sending them in space shuttles that need fixing once they get into space.
3. The space shuttle can be fixed with a spatula.
4. A spatula that I couldn't buy with an entire paycheck is now hurling through space at 25 times the speed of sound, never to be used for cold fusion again.
I can't imagine how much I really, really dislike NASA, and any space program for that matter. Do they do cool things? Sure. I'd love to go into space, float around for a bit and take some awesome pictures of Earth. Is it worth the billions of dollars we're spending on it? No. Instead, how about we pay teachers a little more than $15/hr? Invest in alternative energy sources? Find a cure for cancer? Lower health care costs? It seems like there's a lot more good we could be doing with the money, resources and brain power that are currently going into losing spatulas in space.
P.S. Special thanks to Mister West from 101.9 The End who e-mailed me the link to the original article.
Paul thinks it only costs that much because it's in space. Apparently $3/gal for fuel isn't so bad when compared to how much it costs to send things to space. Besides spatulas are very useful, in space or in the garage.
ReplyDeleteDavid. Hillarious post. And I agree with a lot of what you said. In fact, I felt the same way when I was in elementary school. I even wrote a letter to my senator. And he responded. Since then, I've explored a bit some of the benifits we actually derrive from the space program. Since you're a techie, I figured this would be of more interest to you than just about anyone I can think of...I know how much you love your cell phone.
ReplyDeleteSmoke detectors have saved thousands of lives.
"Cool" laser technology is providing patients an alternative to heart bypass surgery (pioneered by the Jet Propulsion Laboratory for remote sensing of earth's ozone layer).
LEDs were developed to use in plant experiments in space. Now we use them to perform brain surgery, light dance floors, and probably in a lot of your gadgets.
Microwaves
Digital Mammography
Huge advanvements in air travel (such as collision avoidance control)
Golf Ball areodynamics
Football helmet padding
Protection of the Constitution and other historical documents
The "Jaws of Life"
Preventing landmine explosions
And hundreds of other things we'd still be wishing for or clueless about if it weren't for the space program. And sure, I suppose we could spend all that money on schools...but I suppose if we did...we'd have a lot less to teach.
Oh- and don't forget...we can thank NASA for cell phone technology as well.
101.9 The End fired Mister West. As a personal friend of a Personal friend of Mister the story about a contract dispute is a load of crap. Citadel Broadcasting FIRED him.
ReplyDeletePlease, if you are a listener to 101.9 I am asking you to email the management and demand Mister West back. (sure in all reality it probably wont get him his job back, but the station needs to know what the listeners think.)
I'm not listening to 101.9 anymore. Mister West was my reason to listen in the mornings.
Friends and Fans of Mister West are currently running an email campaign to let the station know what we think of their "non-renewal" of his contract. Please send your complaints to:
eric.hauenstein@citcomm.com
parker@1019theend.com
chunga@1019theend.com
chelsea@1019theend.com
cort@1019theend.com