The Apple saga continues

"Gee Dave, I noticed you haven't been posting as much lately. Why is that?" Well, that's because my iMac is still "being repaired" at the Apple Store. Two and a half weeks and counting.

During week two I'd had been checking up on the status of things fairly regularly, but decided on Monday to just wait and see how things were handled. Finally, after not hearing from them, I called the Apple Store last night.

"Yes! David! I've been trying to get in touch with you..."

Really? How? Telepathy?

"We have done everything we know how to do and can't figure out what's wrong with your iMac. So we'd like to replace it."

Brilliant idea. I believe I suggested it a while ago.

"We'll order a new one for you and do a data transfer for free!"

Really? You'd plug in a Firewire cable and click a button just for lil' old me? Shucks.

I asked what else Apple was going to do to compensate me. He asked if I had Apple Care on my iMac. I replied that I didn't.

"How would you like discounted Apple Care?" he asked.

"How about complimentary?" I said with a bit of an edge. He told me he'd check. A few minutes later he came back.

"We'd like to offer you $50 off Apple Care which will make it only $119."

First of all, that's the educational discount and my wife is a teacher. Second, my computer broke at a huge inconvenience to me and now Apple's trying to sell me and extended warranty "at a discount" that costs them nothing to provide? Don't insult me.

"OK. I've been authorized to give you $30 off a .Mac account."

Do I look like a fool? Honestly, do I come across as an idiot? (Don't answer that.) .Mac accounts are already discounted $30 when you get a new computer. In short, Apple was willing to do NOTHING to compensate me for my time, trouble or (at the very least) the month of unused high-speed Internet I've been paying for. Instead they were trying to hit me up for more money.

Hey Apple, here's my idea of fair compensation for the crap you've put me through:

• Give me a loaner computer until my computer arrives.
• Express ship my iMac and do a data transfer.
• Throw in complimentary Apple Care, Pro Care and .Mac
• Then, to say you're sorry, a generous Apple gift certificate/coupon. (I'm talkin' in the ball park of 25% off a new computer.)

None of these things would cost them anything out of pocket.

Any predictions on what they'll actually do?