My new nickname

I home teach a family, the Whites. They're nice people and my wife and I have become pretty good friends with them. How good of friends are we? Good enough friends that we feel comfortable farting in front of each other without feeling the need to blame it on our kids. Enough said.

A while back, their son Cole (pictured here in all his majesty) decided that I was the home teacher with the teeth. This is an odd distinction to make since my home teaching companion isn't missing any teeth of which I'm aware. I was fine with the name because I'd rather be known as the home teacher with teeth than the home teacher without teeth.

But "home teacher with teeth" isn't my new nickname.

This past Sunday while I was over I asked Cole what my name was. I expected one of two answers: something about teeth, or Jake's dad. (For whatever reason he has no problem remembering my son's name.) What came out of his mouth shocked us all:

"Groin."

Huh?

"Groin."

Pardon?

"Groin."

Come again?

"Groin."

There was no mistaking it. The kid was calling me Groin.

So the whole thing was a bit odd. But what has me more worried is that the name may have stuck. My wife answered the phone, "Yes, Groin?" when I called her a few days ago, and Cole called me Groin again tonight.

Despite its anatomical references, I'm sure "Groin" isn't the worst nickname ever. So I think I'm going to have a little contest: leave word in the comments about the worst nickname you've ever heard (you must have known the person who had it). I'll pick the top three or so for everyone to vote on. The person who submitted the worst nickname gets a prize. Seriously. I'm going to mail something to the winner. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I don't think it will be offensive.