Apparently I'm not all that helpful

I received the following email from a friend last week, which I publish here in abbreviated form and without her permission:

Dear Dave,

My family is going to do a family talent show on Christmas and we have to come up with something to do. Can you guys help us out...? Last time we took traditional Christmas songs and rapped them. It was a hit and we've been asked to try to do it again... PLEASE HELP!!!

Stacie

I replied:

Dear Stacie

I think maybe you should maybe do a dramatic recreation of a scene from Schindler's List. Or maybe a live demonstration about how to pluck a chicken.

Just some thoughts.

Warmest wishes,

David

Stacie replied:

I'm going to email your wife for help now.