I've actually been told that by a couple of people. Not having any idea what a "Wiggle" was, but guessing it was something I wouldn't like, I decided to do some research to find out if I should be insulted or not. Here's what I found. Squint at it and tell me what you think.
Personally, I don't see it (picture of me here).Then again, this guy is the lead singer which, as we all know, is the where the coolest guy in the band is so maybe we have something in common even if it isn't our looks. Of course, it appears there have been at least two other guys who've played the yellow Wiggle (see here and here).I really hope the past yellow Wiggles moved onto something bigger and better. It'd really be a blow to the ol' self-esteem to find out your were an incompetent Wiggle and were fired because of it. What do you tell people? I picture one of the former Mr. Yellow Wiggles sitting in a bar, still in costume, drinking his sorrows away. The bartender comes up and asks why he's so down. Put yourself in that situation. What do you say? "Ratings statistics show that kids hate me"? I'd probably turn to the bottle too.
Where does your career go from there? I can't imagine there are that many Wiggle positions open out there. Maybe, like, four.
What about dating? You muster the last shred of confidence you have and approach an attractive woman. She's nice enough so she doesn't blow you off right away. You're chit-chatting and she asks what you do. "Unemployed". Ouch. Strike one. But she's classy and thinks you look cute, kinda like that blogger Dave, so she asks what did you used to do.
"I was a Wiggle."
Oooo...strikes two and three. An awkward silence falls over the conversation. She just kind of looks at you in shock, her mouth moving up and down but no sound coming out. She turns and walks away.
Sad.
It's no wonder that suicide rates are highest among former Wiggles. No, I did not make that statistic up.*
Still, I don't know exactly what a "Wiggle" does. Based on the limited information I've gathered, it's some bizarre cross of Teletubbies and the guy from Blues Clues, but on acid. And there are four. Frankly, that's all I care to know about them.
What do you think? Do I look like the yellow Wiggle? There's a poll open in the upper right corner of the site. Let me know.
*Yes I did.
Hi Dave,
ReplyDeleteThanks again for a really swell and insightful post. I have never seen the Wiggles before, and I agree that you don't look like the yellow guy. There is however a very striking resemblance to a Mii on our Wii.
You totally look like the yellow Wiggle. Sorry, it's true. But if it makes you feel any better, if you get your abs back, that'll be a crucial difference.
ReplyDeleteIf you could somehow score the sweet looking Wiggle-mobile the look a likeness might not be a bad thing
ReplyDeleteYes, but not in an uncanny sort of way.
ReplyDeleteIt's too bad you'll never have Doug's (Hansen) double chin, maybe Jake will get it. I've heard that sometimes it skips a generation.
Oh, I almost forgot. The yellow wiggle guy is way too short to be you. He's like the height of Hugh.
ReplyDeleteDoug, I resemble that remark!
ReplyDeleteYou only slightly look like him--but don't go and kill yourself over it.
ReplyDeleteI think it is funny that you have never heard of a wiggle. When your boy gets older I am sure that you will be well schooled in stuff like this. And how sad is it that I know why the Yellow wiggle is different. The main lead singer actually had some severe health problems so had to retire. LOL. As far as looking like him, I can see it but it isn't uncanny. (= They have had some really famous songs out there and have made a killing when it comes to the mula, so maybe it wouldn't be too bad to be a wiggle. You would at least be a rich wiggle. (=
ReplyDeleteThank you to all who commented.
ReplyDeleteNicola - My son will never hear of Wiggles either if I have any say about it. Which, in all honestly, I probably won't. And yes, I thought about the huge bucks my look-alike is probably raking in. Still don't know if it would be worth it.
Dave,
ReplyDeleteSorry, but I see no resemblance, and I base that on having seen Greg many times in concert, and on having seen him off stage too. I'm not sure why Doug commented that Greg is short, because he is a big guy - 6'5". Greg is the original Yellow Wiggle, and founding member of the group. He was 19 when they recorded their first CD in January 1991, and was the sound of The Wiggles from that day until November 2006....leading them to 17 gold records, 12 platinum, 3 double platinum, and 10 multi-platinum records. His understudy of many years then stepped in. Greg has spent the past months recovering his health, and has recently returned to the public arena and given several magazine, radio, and T.V. interviews. He has gone back into the recording studio to work on his sixth solo CD (he started to do solo CDS in 1998.) Greg spent months personally answering the thousands of cards and letters he received following his retirement, and which he says he continues to receive. Last month he seeded with his own money a fund that will support research projects into the cause, and cure, of Orthostatic Intolerance. His many fans support him, and hope that he will be able to return to live performance sometime in the near future.
Teri - Thanks for the update on Greg. I had no idea you were such a Wiggle groupie.
ReplyDelete