Today I'd like to discuss a fundamental difference between men and women.
Every once in a while I'm a good enough husband to do the dishes. Sometimes I even do it without being coerced, or out of guilt for something stupid I did or said. More often than not, a pot and/or pan has been used in the preparation of the meal.
These pots and/or pans were a wedding gift. I remember opening them and seeing "DISHWASHER SAFE" prominently displayed on the side of the box.
This is not the fundamental difference. Both men and women agree that the outside of the box clearly says, "DISHWASHER SAFE".
The fundamental difference is that men believe the box is telling the truth.
Men understand that machine is servant to man. It is there to do our bidding: the entire point of its existence is to make our lives easier. (Or, in the case of electronics, entertain us.) It's a paradox of power and laziness which men thrive on.
This is why I try to put the pots in the dishwasher.
Somehow, "DISHWASHER SAFE" means something entirely different to women. It does not mean, "The contents of this box are safe to be washed in a dishwasher". I'm not sure what it means, but I know it doesn't mean that because when I go to put said contents into the dishwasher I'm told, "That doesn't go in the dishwasher."
My mind flashes back to the box the pot came in.
"It doesn't?"
"No."
"But it's dishwasher safe."
"You need to wash it by hand."
"But it's..."
"Don't worry about it. Set it on the counter and I'll do it later."
At this point I must carefully consider that last statement. Just as clearly as the side of the box said, "DISHWASHER SAFE", my wife has just told me that she'll wash the pot later. But, just as women read the same words on the box, the meaning is entirely different.
I am experienced enough to know the same, twisted principle applies here. And so I wash the dishwasher safe dish by hand, my male ego insulted as the dishwasher smirks up at me, "Sucker."
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Just because it's dishwasher safe, doesn't mean the dishwasher is capable of cleaning it correctly. Some things just need to be cleaned by hand to get them clean.
ReplyDeleteIt probably can not be cleaned correctly by a dishwasher because of that Teflon coating on the inside of most pans that causes food to stick more than normal dishes.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry. My wife helps me out with tough issues like this all the time. No need to feel bad.
Matt - Yeah. Teflon. Talk about needing some elbow grease. :)
ReplyDeleteLaura: yes, I'm sure it's often the dishwasher's fault rather than the pot or pan. But that still contradicts the male "You will serve me" mentality.
ReplyDeleteIf it wasn't safe/good to wash pots and pans in the dishwasher, then why do most dishwashers have a "Pots and Pans" setting...?
ReplyDeleteI'm way too lazy to wash them by hand.
Julie, I admire your laziness.
ReplyDeleteWhile we're on the subject, my wife insists that knives cannot be washed in the dishwasher because it "makes them dull."
ReplyDeleteReally? Water makes knives dull? More than a plastic brush wishing furiously across the blade only to be rinsed off by...water? Water spraying on them in a box is worse than water spraying on them in the open? Water has the ability to take a forged piece of metal produced at 2750°F and render it dull?
Sounds unlikely to me.
Brett - Wow. I...uh...wow. I'm speechless.
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